How I ended up here + a big ol’ inviation to join the party

I have been so excited to start this journey, chuck full of ideas for fundraising, excited to look for support and rely on God and see how he provides in times of need and THEN…I got busy. Nervous. Perfectionistic. A little scared. You know, the usual. BUT! I’ve just gotta take the first step and start! So…this World Race thing…

One of my close friends recommended I take a look at a mission trip that her friends put together on a site called: “Adventures in Missions”. I couldn’t do the mission trip that she sent over, but I desperately wanted to go serve somewhere. After a profound conversion experience in Japan, exploring my faith alone, and finally finding a church community, I found myself transformed. I was not even an ounce close to the girl I’d been before. I found my worth. I found peace. I found purpose. I found courage. I found my identity in Christ. And I was desperately wanting to share everything I’d found and learn to lean into my identity. Rely on Faith. To find a way to start breaking down my barriers and step into service. So, I couldn’t go on the trip she’d recommended, but I COULD do a disaster relief trip to Puerto Rico. I leapt at the chance, eager to apply as soon as I saw it. I woke up weeping the night Maria hit, my heart just ached so badly for those people, I felt this overwhelming sense of fear and loss.

As I went through the application process, I immediately became discouraged. I thought there was no way I could be accepted for the trip as I delineated some trauma’s from my past. I was certain nobody would want me to represent their company or be affiliated with them if that was the past I was coming from. To my SURPRISE I got accepted! I didn’t know how I was going to afford it, but knew I needed to go and funnily enough, I found myself with more funds than ever after deciding to sign up.

Once in Puerto Rico, I had this feeling flooding back. It was as if I’d come home from a long trip or like settling in with a hot chocolate on a blustery, rainy day. It just felt right. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was sweaty, sunburnt, FULL OF TEARS ASK ANYBODY WHO WAS ON THAT TRIP AND THEY’LL TELL YOU, there was fear, timidness, a peek of my somewhat shy personality. But I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.

I really felt like I met with God there, he spoke so many beautiful words over me in all kinds of beautiful ways. Shared with me that he works in all ways, through all things. Through shyness, through fear, through courage, through boldness, through tough times, through honesty, through humility, through pain, loss, laughter, love, power, weakness, subtlety and blatantly he works. He never forgets us. He is always there. And no matter how much I try to wrap my life up and protect it, and myself, and my heart. There is breaking. But no matter how much breaking there is, there is God. 

It was there my first seed of doing The World Race took root as my teammates encouraged me to sign up and go for it. I felt a little tug in my heart, but I swatted it away, having already traveled and taught, and deciding my time to do that was over. And wanting to keep on building my own kingdom. I kept saying “I’ll pray about it.” and then hearing answers to my prayers that I didn’t particularly want to be hearing(BIG FAT GO ON THE WORLD RACE ANSWERS)

Finally, I was at church and the sermon was on money…”One of the reasons we can miss what God calls us to do is because of our fear of money” IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. Immediately Puerto Rico sprung into my mind. I had no idea how I was going to pay, but I felt called so I dove in head first. I was mulling it over in my mind, thinking about the World Race and whether or not I should apply, and what to do and how to pay and blah blah blah and then they played a song during worship that I’d never heard before Puerto Rico, and that I hadn’t heard since. I felt fire in my chest, was knocked over and wept. Not the pretty stoic kind. The what-is-breathing-how-is-there-even-enough-water-in-my-body-for-all-these-tears-boogies-falling-from-your-face kind. No? Just me? Alrighty.

And as soon as I accepted the reality of what God was asking me to do, I got SO excited. I can’t wait for this journey. For this time of learning God better. Learning how he speaks, who he is, what he would like. Serving his people, loving his people, and hopefully loving them very well. But, I can’t do it alone. It’s gonna take a village. So I need support in whatever ways you can afford. If you are willing and able, I absolutely need financial support. If you are willing and able, I desperately need prayer. If you are willing and able, I am looking for people who will check in on me and follow my journey. EXPEDITION JANUARY 2019, MY FRIEND JESUS, MY SUPPORT CREW, AND I ARE COMING FOR YOU!!!!