She’s a Dancer

I was walking down the street on my Sabbath in the tech capitol during month four when a young woman approached me. “Do you like to dance?” She asked enthusiastically. I laughed aloud, “Yes, I love to dance.” She invited me to her studio and after praying quickly in my head, I went with her to check it out. She invited me back for a class so I darted to my hotel so I could change. Entering into the room they let me know that it was a model class. Cool. This is what all those years of watching ANTM must have been for! I strutted with the best of them, working it out for the glory of the Lord. I asked Him to give me courage and keep me from shying away, and to also protect me from comparing myself to these fierce little women. He poured out favor and strength on me! At the end of the class I got to dance for them! I improvised a little bit, bringing some of them to tears! The Lord is so good! 

The woman who invited me came and grabbed my hand, “Please come back!! Please come back again!” 

I got to go back several times and even got to teach. I taught some fosse, wanting to share the subtlety of attractiveness, the small skipped heartbeat of a knowing look from a woman. We also hung out just to hang out and shared a meal. It was absolutely WONDERFUL!! I got to take so many classes and got to connect with so many people! It was a blast!! 

I didn’t experience what used to happen as I danced where I would be comparing myself to everybody else, talking myself out of trying my best, tearing my mistakes apart in my head. All of the fear I had around dancing left me. It was a little pin point along the way that pointed to God as it said “She’s changing”. I absolutely loved it. 

And through my own healing and redemption, the Lord used me in that room. These women were so excited to have me around, and I got to encourage them! Me!! Arianna McMonagle! Not a young american, not your dance teacher, just a girl taking a dance class. But they saw my confidence, and my joy, and my passion, and they knew something was different in me. 

Part of the studio is an emphasis on your weight. A big part of their marketing is that you’ll lose weight and get hot if you come take their classes. The students would show up with a run way vibe, full hair and make-up, outfits carefully chosen to highlight a flat stomach or toned legs, etc. I was coming in there much bigger than the ones who were confident, no make up on, sometimes no shoes on, in a giant over sized t-shirt dress. So that as well was shocking as I entered in, because I wasn’t “supposed” to be confident. I wasn’t “supposed” to be good at dancing. I was expected to fumble and struggle and feel awkward and embarrassed because of my size and my style and my lack of make-up. But if you’re a lil mama who loves to tear up a dance floor, you do that boo! Glorify the Lord with your love! He planted it in you in the first place. I got some real freedom in that room on the 14th floor. I don’t have to hide or live in fear because I’m not sure I’m good enough. God has the final say on my value and CONSISTENTLY and PATIENTLY reminds me what He thinks about me. Everybody else’s opinion is moot if it doesn’t align with what He says. GO OFF SIS!! SIZE 2-20, GOD SAYS WORTHY!! SKIN MILK TO CARAMEL TO ROSY TO DEEP DARK CHOCOLATE AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN GOD SAYS LOVELY! Make up or not, acne or not, crop top or not, the Lord loves us deeply and dearly and incomprehensibly, so that’s what will stand. Our firm foundation. Come on now, let’s stop the foolishness! 

I was tempted by the safety zone of insecurity in those classes and I still experience that sometimes. It may sound strange, but it’s where I lived so much of my life that it’s comfortable and familiar to me to slink into the background, be mediocre, and not say anything, which is nothing short of the temptation of hell. 

I was made to worship the Lord with everything I have, and I can do that all the time. I don’t have to wait until Sunday, I can do it ALL DAY EVERYDAY, what a heist I pull when I pull back. And I walked around for so long thinking that it didn’t matter, that I could hold back, that I should hold back, that I’m not good enough. I know that I know that I know now that that’s not what I was made for. Wherever God calls, I want to answer, wherever He invites, I want to accept. When He asks me to glorify Him and praise Him in a dance class, leaning on Him for strength and encouragement and power I’m gonna do that for the Glory of God. I know Him because I know who I am and who I am without Him. I know Him because I’ve been acquainted with what’s the opposite of Him, many times. He’s provided me plenty of proof for what He’s like!! This random girl walking directly up to me in a crowd of passing strangers to ask me if I liked to dance is just one little miracle, one little drop in the bucket. 

The lies I’ve purchased are old, and frankly boring to me. The accuser, that guy is not so creative. He’s still peddling his same old same old of: “Did God really say?” 

To which God consistently responds: “Who told you that?” 

BORING!!!!!! I WANT SOMETHING DYNAMIC!!! PASSIONATE!!!! SOMETHING NEW AND INSPIRING!!!! So if that means tubby lil cubby all stuffed with fluff Ari needs to break outta the box and do something new by believing what the Lord says about her and putting her faith in a firm foundation, I’m gonna do it! IM TELLING A NEW STORY TO MYSELF AND TO THE PEOPLE I MEET! NEVER FORGET THAT BORING STORY BECAUSE IT WILL DRESS ITSELF UP IN FANCY  CLOTHES AND TRY TO COME TO THE PARTY AGAIN!! But you’ll know its face, and you’ll recognize its voice, and it’s aftermath and be able to say: you need to leave. Don’t forget because it will sneak up on you again. But move on, because you are not boring, you are thrilling! And move on because there is so much more waiting for you. And move on because God says and shows that we can believe Him and trust in Him. I am able because He is able. I know at all times, no matter what, that I’m loved. The world isn’t out to get me, God is out to help me. 

Don’t be boring, love God, love your neighbor, know you’re loved in return, do the dang thing. So it is. Amen. 

This girl, this lover of dance right here, she is fundraising again!! 

Please consider partnering with me! I’ve got some people that I’m waiting to meet and love on and you can help get me to them!! There are many who don’t know that they’re loved and that they don’t have to do a thing to earn it! I WANNA MEET THEM!! I WANNA FOLLOW THAT CALL!! I WANNA JOIN PEOPLE TO HELP PROVE IT AND YOU CAN HELP ME DO IT!!!

every dollar counts 🙂 

YOU ARE LOVED