Snapshot

These are what I call “snapshots”. A series of basically unrelated memories of my time at Ocean’s Edge in Costa Rica. This is as much for me to look back on and remember later as it is for you get a little glimpse into life on the field! So, just another reminder that this is a reflection for my time from April to May!! 

Okay, you’re going to read this in the opposite way you should be reading yo’ Bible!! Don’t try to read it like it’s one long story, because it won’t make much sense, instead, imagine every separate little paragraph as a stand alone picture or snapshot. (That are of course all rolled into my little life) Enjoy!! 

We waddle into the gate heavy laden beneath our packs and the time of night. We gather in the rancho for a quick briefing and then we shuffle inside to find our rooms. I determine to wake up early enough to fetch breakfast and secure a partner to help with it and roll into a queen sized bed alongside my precious Katie. In the morning Jenn and I venture out in search of food on a measley four hours of sleep. We stagger back underneath our food bags with enough to feed 31 and regret not recruiting one more set of arms as we sweat from every pore between the grocery bag work out and the sun.

The heat is stifling and oppressive, never letting up save for the occasional, momentous mysterious cool breeze that would ripple through the air once every two to three weeks and be immediately followed by another gust of humidity and scorching air. A mystery, a mystery I tell you.

About halfway through our time began the thunderstorms. Sweet relief and freedom dancing in the downpour, being reminded of how small and loved I am. Thinking of the sound of the Lord’s voice like rolling Thunder, mighty and powerful. Wondering how it must sound when the Lord opens His mouth to sing. My bones rattling within me at the explosive claps of thunder and flashes of light streaking across the sky.

I think of moments standing in the shallows at the shore. Sunset unfurling before me, changing minute by minute. A mind boggling painting set before me more beautiful than human hands could make or think of. Some of them being reflected in low hanging fog, drawing me into the whimsical colors, surrounded by pink and yellow, reflected on the water’s surface I was standing on, 360 degrees before me, behind me, beside me. God must know how much I like to be in the action.

I think of Mary’s voice back in California telling me to “STAND UP!!!!” as I catch a wave. The first day begrudgingly climbing onto a board, having recently almost drowned and feeling tired and burnt out. Within no time life returned to me, as I enthusiastically paddled and popped up, getting the hang of catching waves in the shallows. The exhiliration of being carried along by the hand of the sea. Brandon and I trying to discern how to deal with a health issue that had popped up for a squadmate as we knelt in the water, holding our boards in place. Dead serious expressions and coversation in an entirely ABSURD setting.

Sweet moments huddled together as a squad. Entering into people’s pain and frustration. Having somebody notice I was a little off and offer to pray. House church at 8:00pm on Sundays. Comfort, familiarity, freedom, joy flooding in as we took off all the restrictions and pretenses and knelt down with our family to worship the King. An easter sunrise. A week of fasting together. Tears shed en masse. Prayers prayed all at once, thirty one voices lifted high to the throne room of heaven with petitions to the Only One who can enact change.

Walking down the street and recieving no eye contact. No smile and nod. No curiosity. No interest. Open mouthed shock at a smile, people caught off gaurd by open hearted friendliness.

“Wheat brownies?” Ari asked innocently, forgetting about the existence of weed for a moment.  “NO, WEED BROWNIES!!!” Katie answered, tears rolling down her cheeks in laughter as the woman trying to sell us some sauntered away after being told no, thank you.

Being woken up on account of a broken hand and a little bit of a broken heart and swarming outside with a vengeance to pray.

Tito limping at me from one direction, Mary Grace from another, Abbey popping out just behind her and feeling fire rise up within me to pray for healing.

Falling face down on the floor in my room weeping before the Lord over the people of Jaco. Sex tourism capitol of Costa Rica. The replay of so many tourists heading into massage parlors, men walking down the street with women decades younger than them, the look in the eyes of the women selling themselves, the many homeless ‘regulars’ we got to know. In prayer, I saw a picture of the main street that runs parallel to the beach flooding with water, rising and rising way past the level of the second story buildings. I saw specific people that we passed by caught up in the water, a snake skin like covering peeling off of them, them paddling hard toward the surface, breaking water and taking their first breath.

Worshipping from the Re/Max roof, curious bypassers craning their necks to see what the hullabaloo was about. Smiling and waving warmly in response from our perch, two stories above the street in the empty white building. 

Max leaning over asking what I was doing here with all these people as we worshipped and me getting to share my whole testimony. Chills running up and down my arms and his as I said: “Jesus is alive.” From an abandoned lookout point. Christ is so good. Feeling complacent and disobedient as the Lord whispered that He was baiting me into desiring more of Him at all costs, including my own comfort as I sauntered away from a different opportunity to share my faith only days later.

The sweet, sweet blast of an air conditioner under any circumstance or situation.

Hannah’s mischievious smile twisting the corners of her mouth up Cheshire Cat style, eyebrows lifting alongside her mouth. Her stretching up countless kid after kid on longboards, looking graceful and strong. Water swiping her and a kid off together, her settling the two of them back onto the board together, child clinging to her with reckless abandon, crying loudly and frightened. Hannah reassuring her over and over again, “I won’t let go of you. I didn’t let go of you for one second. Don’t worry. I’ve got you. You can trust me. Did you feel me? Right when you were in the water, I was in the water with you. I didn’t let you go, I would never let you go, I won’t let you go.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stood next to them in the water, hearing the heart of the Father through her words.

Praying at the front of our property that spirits would “Get off my lawn.” Talk about Ari being absurd and having fun in her faith. 

Devastating disappointment tearing through me, intense hope as I applied to be a squad mentor, nervousness at being deemed incompetent because of all the issues our squad was facing, feeling pressure to be a bridge, feeling tempted to buck up and resist rules and order, feeling freedom in following Christ my king into all of it. Ignoring the ugly, rebellious, disparaging, self interested, self protecting parts within me that rose up and allowing God to go before me and to fight for my cause. Laying down not only my own needs and reputation, but the reputation of all who were dear to me moment after moment and not picking it up, no matter what. Seeing how God fought for all of us.

Standing in a closed room with Katie and Brandon, looking between the two of them knowing that in some ways, it was just us. We were the only ones who knew what there was to know about what was happening. We were all each other had every once in a while. Just a couple of friends and the God who made us. 

Practicing forgiveness daily and hourly. For others, for me. For everybody, free gift wherever followers of Christ are involved.

Jaco was wild, an adventure unimaginable by any human being. I will always be grateful for my time there, all that I learned and recieved. Incomparable, irreplacable pressure that created spiritual, emotional diamonds within me.

Galatians 6:9-10. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”