I especially needed him…

Mongolia, 2019

Our badgered little crowd of 6 finally found our destination after wandering in the cold. A woman stood on the porch, waving us in. I bustled in at the back of my team and was met by a rather familiar cacophony. Various moans and groans and happy trills and little drawn out coos. We put our coats on top of the hallway cubbies and were ushered into the special needs class we would be helping with that day. I walked in gingerly, full of excitement, but not totally sure what to do. In workshop I always had a task to forsake for hanging out, but here it seemed like I was hanging out to hang out. After my squad leader Emily knelt to wipe some food from a face and hold a hand, my instincts kicked in and I found another homie to hang with. 

Soon it was playtime and the kids were spread out on the carpet. We got an incredible dance and song performance from one of the students and I was led into the hallway by a slightly naughty boy who was trying to convince me to let him go outside to play. (In 20 degree weather, it was definitely a no.) There were some rolly poly kids and some puzzle kids. There were kids who wanted to hug and hold you and other kids who just wanted you to watch them and tell them they did a great job. There was drool and there were bare feet on the loose. But the very best part was the joy that was filling the room. With every passing minute everybody got more and more comfortable in the room, and the comfort gradually inspired giggles, hand holding, tickles, back scratches, hugs, you name it. This was quickly becoming a little corner of joy and kingdom on earth as in heaven.  

The boy who’d first tried to lead me outside went around to each of the teachers, trying to get their attention. He would break things or just the rules. He would steal and snatch stuff. He would climb and remove clothing and just generally clamor for attention through misbehavior. With every transgression, he would look over his shoulder to see who was watching and what kind of attention he could get through it. It worked like a charm. Every time. 

After stealing one of the toddler’s snacks, he came barreling toward me. My nails were pretty long at the time(shocking, I know) and He was fascinated with them. I was teaching him how to touch them gently without hurting me. He wanted to be rough, but I didn’t want to be in pain. I sat with him praying for him in my head that God would give him peace and let him know that he is extremely loved. 

Many of those kids come from really broken families. It’s so much work to care for a child with special needs, especially when you’re got several other young kiddos running around, and lots of the kids we met weren’t getting very much attention, especially not positive attention. So it was deeply important to me that this kid know way down deep in his soul that he was loved. I watched him slowly change from being agitated to being completely calm in my hands. Eventually he lay down in front of me and I sat with him gently tracing figure eights on his back and zig zags and waves and anything else I could think of. He became very still, for the first time since we’d arrived. I said I love you in every language I could think of. 

Soon, he sat up, crawling into my lap and facing me. His nose was barely an inch from mine and he was looking intently into my eyes, studying me. I kept scratching his back as he sat there just looking, and I felt the room grow tense, but he was completely still. Suddenly he reared back, and I heard a huge gasp behind me followed by all the adults in the room exclaiming in Mongolian words I couldn’t understand. But the boy flung himself forward with all his might and threw his arms around my neck. I rocked back with the force, catching myself with one hand and then bringing myself forward again. I held him, rocking him back and forth a little bit and whispering that God loved him, and singing softly in his ear. 

Our translator said: “Be careful!! He will scratch you and bite you and pull your hair,” letting me know what the teachers had been yelling. But he had no intention of hurting me, not even playfully. He just wanted a really good hug. He nestled his face into my hair for a few moments and I felt the love and peace radiating off of him in waves, my eyes welling up at this sweet kid who was starving for love. 

Soon he sat back, studying my face again, and crawled off my lap, putting my hand on his back for more scratches, a little smile turning the corners of his mouth. 

Scratch and bite indeed. 

A label that says: He is bad and there is nothing good in Him and a God who is the author of redemption. 

Nothing a little bit of love and patience can’t fix. 

Psalm 107:1, 8-9

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever…Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” 

To be a part of God’s body is the greatest adventure.