A Step by Step Guide to Being Squished

There have been some times in my life that I’ve felt really, really pushed to the wall and pressed, and the last two months has been one of them. What comes out when you get squished? Is it Christlike? Is it fruits of the spirit? Is it unforgiveness? Is it rebellion? Is it avoidance? Is it numbing?

I recently stood in a place where I felt like I was in a lose-lose situation. All of the spectacularly juicy details aside…now what? I cried on my floor, I cried in the kitchen, I cried walking down the street, I cried talking to people, I cried all by myself, I cried out to the Lord.

Step One: Let it out. Ask for help from God.

I used to be better at lying, a skill I’ve thankfully allowed to grow rusty. I couldn’t invite people into the details of what was happening, just like I still can’t let you into the details of what was happening for the sake of honor, but I was obviously…unwell. As people looked at me inquisitively, seeing that I was not my usual, explosively joyful self, I did answer honestly as I said I was just okay. In all their love and understanding, nobody pressed me for details, but they asked if they could pray for me, knowing that they didn’t need to understand. With every prayer I definitely felt the Lord’s comfort and presence and was given strength to face my situation with integrity and grit.

Step Two: Be honest. Let people in as much as you can. Get Prayer for help from God.

“Lord, I forgive them. God, help me to love like you love. Help me to see people how you see them.”

Step Three: Forgive. Ask for help from God.

”Father, please forgive me for my own part in this. Please change me. Make me more like you. Lord, I’m so sorry for the ways I fall short of your holiness. Transform me God. I want your perspective, your heart, your word, all of you in my situation .”

Step Four: Confess and repent now, you hear? 

In bubbling pools and waves love rose up within me. A given for one party, and a supernatural gift for another. As I looked at the people I felt most hurt and misunderstood by, I received an answer to prayer.

As I looked for the Lord’s Face in our situation, I saw a vivid picture of him lying on a sacrificial altar. He invited me to come and lie down with Him, opening His arms to me. I came close, nervous for what was to come, He kissed my forehead, and wrapped His arms around me, and then a fire sprang up all around us. Even though I could see the flames, I couldn’t feel the heat of it at all.

Step Five: Listen to the Lord. Be obedient to what He asks of you. 

I didn’t feel like much changed in my outward situation. I still felt hurt, misunderstood in some ways, but My God, My God, I felt so seen by Him. And Transformed in my situation. Love for those who I felt had hurt me. The odds for the outcome to be well faced, well dealt with, well recieved were astoundingly low. I’d been a part of creating the tension we were facing from the beginning, on the back end, we all had to shoulder the decided solution to the problem together. With my human eyes the only endings that seemed likely were division, hurt, disempowerment, bitterness, unforgiveness, and distrust. BUT GOD….

HE DID IT AGAIN. I saw an astronomical amount of growth not only in myself, but in the people around me. We all climbed up on the altar together and did what the Word says to do. To die to ourselves. We looked at Ephesians 4:1-5:20, Phillipians 2:1-18, Hebrews 6: 10-12, Hebrews 12:18-29, honestly, the whole book of James, and Colossians 3. God’s word is very, very clear about how to conduct ourselves within the body of believers. We saw growth and transformational change because we first took the plank out of our own eyes. We faced the ugliness in our own hearts and brought it before the Lord for help with honesty. We didn’t paste a plastic smile on our faces and carry on in our own strength, but in our crushing defeat, hurt, and frustration, we found ourselves instead plastered to the floor and begging God for help and healing.

Step Six: YOU BETTAH GET IN THE WORD TO CONFIRM WHAT YOU ARE HEARING FROM GOD!!!! 

Diagreeing doesn’t necessarily have to mean disunity. 

I got to see the real-life, tangible, powerful fruit of living by the word. Not living within the margins of it like some kind of spiritual thief or fugitive trying to guess how much of it we could obey without ‘doing it wrong’ or ‘crossing the line’, but instead, people plunging towards the heart of God, everything that He commands, everything that He has for us which surely includes some breaking and fixing and determining to do things His Way to His Glory. I’m talking about radical obedience to what is asked of us in His Word. Lay down your life for your friends. Whoo!!! Lord!

I learned so much during the last two months. I got pressed to my limit and then some in every sense of the word. I saw God change my heart, renew me, give me grit and resolve, and show Himself through me by my actions and obedience that are ONLY POSSIBLE because of His Holy Spirit. He turned things around, not outwardly or externally, but within each of us.

I’m still asking God for more healing from my time and situation, but I wouldn’t trade any of it away because of the growth I ultimately received. Hence, I will return again to step one! 

One of my prayers from that time:

“Let us be the real deal, no deceit found in us, no offense. LORD, it’s okay if it hurts, we just don’t want to be offended. LORD, we want to be the REAL THING. True faith, complete transformation, a people that considers others before ourselves. Slow to anger, slow to speak, quick to listen. Remove our angry, offended fat cats and unviel the mouse below. Father, gaurd my mouth. Examine my heart. Change me. I open myself up to you. Bring your kingdom here. Put my thoughts right. Perform surgery. Wash me Lord.”

God is so good, so real, so alive. I’m praying that you will get to see and experience first hand His supernatural power in your life.

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